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Somnium Sursum Pages 13 to 16 by DukeStewart Somnium Sursum Pages 13 to 16 by DukeStewart
Okaaaay everything's done.
I hope you enjoyed the story. It took a damn long time...

Pages 1 to 4: [link]
Pages 5 to 8: [link]
Pages 9 to 12: [link]
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:iconbrightpaw32:
The Story and Atmosphere:
I think that Somnium Sursum was a nice short story. While the idea of something trying to kill you in your mind-palace is not all that new, the character usually doesn't attack using their imagination immediately like yours did, making your story a satisfyingly quick read.

The story did have a frightening character (unknown mental parasite), however, it wasn't scary at all. It may have had some suspenseful parts, but the story was humorous throughout the entire thing. Sure, getting chased by a shadow-demon may have been horrifying for the teen, but what's funnier than laughing at others terror? (Side note: Only reason it wasn't scary was because it wasn't drawn that way, therefore it wasn't perceived in that fashion.)

The Characters
Protagonist: An older boy (possibly 19) that faces the antagonist, a mental parasite. He's a fairly quick thinker and does well under pressure, as shown when he realizes something was wrong with the land and used the arena's abilities to win over his opponent. Overall a good character and is not too unrealistic.
Antagonist: A mental parasite that evades the host's mind and eats the host in their "dream land". It seems to have an almost playful nature and doesn't seem to fear defeat, as it hasn't failed to eat a victim yet. However, it's overconfidence became its downfall when the protagonist got the better of it. This makes sense, since it has such a high winning streak, and it probably thought its prey wouldn't be as bright as to fight back (or it didn't think of that option itself).

Design
While not as good as your newest works, TrebleChibi, this comic is still a nice looking comic. It does have depth, and the movements were clear and nothing was confusing. The lighting and shadowing is definitely nothing to complain about, however, the background could use a little work on the 6th page at "section" 2. The water didn't seem to be the best it could have been. By making the water a dark blue-green instead of turquoise, you could have a better looking water in no time.

Overall Goods:
The comic was nicely shaded/lighted and the story wasn't very complicated. The weapons the teenager used against his opponent was definitely creative, and the comic overall made sense. Nothing was too far-fetched other than the blunt fiction, which is good. The story would probably make someone's morning. (Side note: the speech/action bubbles fitted the scenarios smoothly.)

Overall Bads:
I doubt that you'd like to here me comment on water's inappropriate appearance, so I'll train my focus elsewhere. Your main character has a problem. He doesn't have a name. Humans give things names and put sentimental value in those names, so giving him a name would be important. While you could get away with it this time around, I suggest giving your kids names next time (especially if you're going to kill them). In addition to character flaws, I would have liked to see the teen at least struggle a little when defeating his enemy. I know it's not really necessary, it takes up more time, and is possibly not even possible (considering the boy practically has the power of a Dungeon Master/God), but seeing such a hopeful enemy getting crushed like an ant is..... Anticlimactic, for the lack of a better word.

Overview (conclusion):
Somnium Sursum could really teach you something. Face a difficulty, and if you can solve or end it, do it. No matter how scary your opponent is, whether a man in a white lab coat or homework, no matter how hard or easy something seems, whether it be writing or making a cake, no matter WHAT- use your imagination, keep your head high, and do your best, and everything will work out.

Great story, awesome drawings, and FABULOUS JOB. Not everyone can write a good story and draw brilliantly at the same time, which makes you truly special TrebleChibi! I hope you continue improving and to show talent in your work. Take your time and don't hurt yourself!

Paths are as Bright as we make them ~Brightpaw
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconalikistone:
AlikiStone Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013
I really wish this comic didn't end! It was awesome!! Good job. :)
Reply
:iconpapopaq:
PapopaQ Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist
I hate it when that happens! Best dream, can't remember. 
Reply
:iconbond674:
bond674 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
i wonder will he remember if he got possesed again or something unnatural happens to him. making it a huge story where one fights monsters within the dreamworld
Reply
:iconmariafrazey:
mariafrazey Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
What's the kid's name?
Reply
:icondukestewart:
DukeStewart Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
doesn't have one
Reply
:iconmariafrazey:
mariafrazey Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Hmm, ok. I liked the story.
Reply
:iconjak-little-sister:
Jak-little-sister Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Well, now that he forgot, he won't tell anyone and no one will think he's crazy ..... good for him.
Reply
:iconlikeyouwannaknow:
LikeYouWannaKnow Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol. Poor guy, got attacked by... something, beat it and forgot all about it! x)
Reply
:iconmasivefaddy:
masivefaddy Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011
Well this was interesting.
Reply
:iconlorddracona:
LordDracona Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2011
This is an amazing story!
Reply
:icontylersong:
tylersong Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
*0* . . . Dude, that was-, naw,naw,naw,naw- IS kick-a awesomeness!!! XD
Reply
:icontheajaxs720:
theajaxs720 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
did that happen to you too!?
Reply
:iconfablewing:
FableWing Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome comic. I had a really cool dream once but the only thing I could recall was that I had a portal gun from the game Portal.
Reply
:iconinuhsien:
InuHsien Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2011
Brillant comic! You have real talent for this medium. I look forward to watching your other works.
Reply
:iconelectricgecko:
ElectricGecko Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011
Love the colour work. Is this vector?
Reply
:icondukestewart:
DukeStewart Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011
nah, it's raster.
Reply
:iconcloudclone2488:
cloudclone2488 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
that was pretty awesome!!!!!
Reply
:icondemypeace:
demypeace Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Student Artist
OMG DATH WAS EPIC!!!!!!!I LOVE THIS COMIC!!!
Reply
:iconrandompri:
RandomPri Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011   General Artist
LOL! xD

Now he will never know the epic fight that he had and go back to his boring life~!
Reply
:iconcherrystar318:
cherrystar318 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011
A shame he couldn't remember that...
Reply
:iconpouchnoubout:
pouchnoubout Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011  Student Digital Artist
That sure was funny stuff!:D
Man, that's HUGE! Must have take you forever.:noes:
Reply
:icondashdotdotdash:
DashDotDotDash Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
A good way to remember dreams is to reaplay as much as you can remember just after you wake up.
I doesn't allways work but I works for the best bits :D
Reply
:iconelf-healer:
Elf-healer Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011
Damn!! He can't remember anything!!! D: MOAR PLZ!
Reply
:iconaria-jadefang:
Aria-JadeFang Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Well that was really neat :U I really liked it!
Reply
:icondarkravenstudios:
DarkRavenStudios Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Student Digital Artist
LOL X'D that creature got owned! xD
awesome story :) really enjoyed it
Reply
:iconthedoctorsassisant:
TheDoctorsAssisant Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
awesome! and the name really suits it.
Reply
:iconghirox:
Ghirox Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Student General Artist
in the beggining I thought of Freddy Kreugger, you know, killed inside your dream
Reply
:iconjunkotan:
Junkotan Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist
Ever seen Yumekui Merry?

yeah, same storyline.
Reply
:icondukestewart:
DukeStewart Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
Never heard of it...
Reply
:iconjunkotan:
Junkotan Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist
Just finished airing. The ending was terrible.
Reply
:iconlost-tresure:
Lost-Tresure Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
Awsome. This can't have been a waste of time to make.
Reply
:icongallade664:
Gallade664 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
I actually really enjoyed that! My only complaint was the size of the pages made it hard to tell what was going on at some points. All in all very amusing. I'll tell you more in person if I feel like it!
Reply
:iconoctolord-starr:
Octolord-Starr Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL <3<3<3 :'D I loved it!
Reply
:iconzeimitakahashi:
ZeimiTakahashi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
Your comic skills holy shit this is all so glorious
Hngg I can't wait for more. *q*
Reply
:iconishaichiinu:
IshaIchiinu Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
A masterpeice. I'm glad you drew this because it's so amazing. :la:
Reply
:iconprincessg123:
princessg123 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
pretty cool, so hate it when that happens
Reply
:iconradiosoulwave23:
RadioSoulwave23 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awesome dream and can't remember Crap.
Reply
:iconsoujaurl:
Soujaurl Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate it when that happens! Especially when it's a cool dream, too !

I personally, adored the whole thing~!
Reply
:icontoaster-omlette:
Toaster-Omlette Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Student General Artist
I haaaate it when that happens.

Loved the comic, it was absolutely epic.
Reply
:iconcatc0617:
catc0617 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
XD This was epic :D Throughly enjoyed reading it! And I would be so ticked if I had a dream like that and couldn't remember aha
Reply
:icontowaneko:
TowaNeko Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It is always the worst when you know you had an awesome dream and yet can't remember anything about it.

Anyways epic comic I loved it. x3
Reply
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Submitted on
June 2, 2011
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